after then....he is infectious

i tot the misunderstanding yesterday would be the end of everything...but it seem not like it...he's infected with some virus that i don even know....after reading the virus in the internet....i am not sure on where should i be standing now....

i'm afraid, yes i am afraid and i ought to be afraid. y shouldnt i be afraid when i am at stake too....

Should i call it off....cos i'm afraid??(a friend told me last night, that if i say that too often, either it will realise or it will become a habit of mine between us) but there's so many questions in my mind right now...that i would not want to think about it....

God, y would you want to do this to me?? i'm cursed...i always told myself...a girl like me....so unwanted...i guess i'm not worth of anyone except those bastards....cant i get a normal person who can make me feel secure and accompany me thru my ups and downs??? y this has to happen???

y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y? y?
how am i going to face him again....and today were already talking so weirdly.....and it feel awkward when he bring up the virus.....

i think Kuan Imm is correct...that he is not the right one for me...when i asked her last week when i visited.